We have been back in Asheville, home from my Mom’s funeral in Orlando, for a week now. I’m not going to lie, it’s been a hard seven days. In some ways time seems to be crawling along, each moment reminding me that my Mom is no longer with us. In other ways it seems like a giant blur and a reality that still just isn't true. Sometimes the day ahead seems almost impossible and I’m not sure how I can keep smiling and moving on. But I have been. I keep moving forward, one step at a time, because I know that is what my mom would want. She hated to see me unhappy. So I’m fighting through the sadness; for her.
I have been slowly trying to find my routine. For me that involves running and exercising. With everything that has happened over the past month, I ended up taking a much longer break from running than I intended. I ran 3 slow miles Saturday, Monday and today. My body wanted to stop so badly. I felt out of shape and out of breath. But I powered through and felt so much better afterwards. I can’t believe I’m the same girl who just ran a marathon. It may be awhile before my mental strength comes back, but I can work hard to get back my physical strength. I hate to feel weak.
I have found such comfort in all of the kind words, comments and notes so many of you have sent to me. I am blown away by the support and prayers. I thank so many of you for lifting my family and I up in such a trying and difficult time. This community is amazing. I apologize if I have not gotten back to respond to your individual note or comment, I am just so behind. But please know that I have read and cherished all of them and they all are giving me a little nudge on that mental strength to get through the day.
So many of you shared stories about how you lost your parents. Some of you are going through the same feelings and sorrow I am now. Our minister in Orlando read this poem at the graveside. I honestly don’t remember hearing much of it at all at the time, but he was kind enough to send it to us in an e-mail a couple days later. It gives me a sense of comfort and peace with my Mom’s death. I hope it will help some of you going through similar situations….
A Letter From Heaven
A Letter From Heaven - Ruth Ann Mahaffey
To my dearest family, some things Id like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there’re no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, I welcome you.
Its good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family, They'll be here later on.
I need you here so badly, you are part of my plan.
There is so much that we can do, to help our mortal man.
God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night the days chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy and Id like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody who is in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night....My day was not in vain.
And now I am contented... that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick them up, as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.
And when its time for you to go...from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...you're coming here to me.
Ruth Ann Mahaffey
Rick Hill says
Julie: So sorry to hear this news! I have a beautiful card I will be mailing you as I find it, somewhere amoing my stuff. Its called "When I Must Leave You!" Its so beautiful!
Rick Hill
JulieWunder says
Thank you Rick. You are so kind.
Jenny Patterson says
Julie, I continue to pray everyday for healing for you. I hope you and your Dad are doing alright.
JulieWunder says
Thank you Jenny. We are doing the best we can.
james cannon says
As you face the coming days remember we are here to support you.
james cannon says
We continue to keep you in our prayers.
Madeline St Onge says
Julie my friend who lost her 14 year old boy a year ago posted this today and I want to share it with you. It is the norm sweetie so don't fight it
It's from Hospice. I know most of us can relate.
Someone I Loved Just Died So...
*Please listen to me.
*Don't tell me to get over it, I won't. I will get through it but not over it.
*Don't ask me to put a time limit on my grief. Recovery will take me years.
*Anger, guilt, confusion, and forgetfulness are common. I am not crazy.
*Don't feel sorry for me.
*I'm going to be angry. This is part of my process. Don't tell me not to be angry!
*Don't dance around the subject. Bring it up to me. I need to talk.
*I will have setbacks. Don't panic; my emotions, at times, will hit like a tidal wave.
*Know that my feelings are overwhelming, and these feelings are normal.
*Don't tell me how I should feel.
*Allow me to set my own limits and boundaries.
*I will be forgetful and confused. It is part of my grief process.
*If you cannot be kind to me, please leave me alone.
*I will need space. Please respect that.
*I will never be the same.
*Accepting me as I am is the greatest support you can offer me.
*Don't ask me to make any major decisions for a while.
*I am learning how to live again. I am trying to accept what happened to me, and I am willing to generate possibilities through tragedy.
JulieWunder says
Thank you for posting this. It is how I am feeling-- it's nice to see it written down.
Steve Loscalzo says
Wonderfully written, Julie. I continue to pray for you and your family.
JulieWunder says
Thanks Steve. I really appreciate you reading. Good to hear from you.
Ruth Ann Doane says
Julie, I am so sorry to hear about your Mothers passing. It will be a sad time during this Thanksgiving time, but I'm sure you can make it by Gods grace. I will continue to pray for God to give you peace and comfort. You are a wonderful person and TV anchor. I try to watch you do the weather everyday. A friend, Ruth Ann
JulieWunder says
Thank you so much for the prayers Ruth Ann.
Esther Sorensen says
Oh Julie, I am so sorry about your Mom's passing. My heart goes out to you. You will always miss her but know she is near and when times are hard and your saddest, you will know your Mom is right there with you helping you with each step. I will keep you in my prayers every day. You are a ray of sunshine to me each morning.
JulieWunder says
What a sweet thing to say. Thank you Esther.
Danalee Pipes says
Julie, I hope in time, the wonderful memories of your mom will bring you comfort. As you go through the holidays, her loss will be felt but know that she is always with you.
JulieWunder says
Thank you Danalee.
Madeline St Onge says
Beautiful Poem Julie, some one send this to me when I lost my dad and it helps a lot.
Keeping you in my prayers and my heart sweetie, you are strong and will power on
((((HUGS))))