Remembering Our Beloved Pap

The Hub's Dad passed away recently and we are all still coming to terms with the devastating news and learning to find a new normal without him.

Dan was a quiet man, but still had a huge presence in the room, and was a force in our family.  My sister-in-law wrote a beautiful obit for him if you wanted to learn more about his life.

I wanted to take a moment to share some of my memories of a man whom I loved deeply and feel grateful to call a second Dad.  Writing here after devastating events in my life has always given me a bit of comfort.  Thank you for allowing me to share my stories with you.

When I met Dan nearly 15 years ago, he treated me like a daughter, not a daughter-in-law.  He loved with his whole heart, and I felt it too.  He was unwaveringly loyal and the kind of person you wanted to keep on your side.  He'd go out of his way to help you in any way possible.  Whenever he visited your house he'd find ways to help you.

He wasn't very chatty, but you stopped and listened when he spoke because it was something worth hearing.

He was a true family man, rarely missing a game for his kids or Grandkids.  The Hubs remembers him following him around at all of his ball games with a camera in hand.  He even went to all of his grandkid's games who lived locally in Pittsburgh.

He loved woodworking and building things for his family.  I have several rooms of beautiful handcrafted furniture in my home that he built.  And in the past few months, he created gorgeous desks for the twins that will grow with them as they go to school. He knew his health was fading, and he rushed to finish them.  They are so incredibly special.

In recent years, we came to call him Pap because of the twins.  The twins adored their Pap and talked about him all the time, even though he didn't live near us.  Pap was legendary in our house.

He made sure his time with them counted by playing with them, whether it be pushing them on the swings, playing with Nerf guns, or playing in the pool.  The twins were the 8th and 9th grandkids for him, and he was an old pro by then, knowing how to make them laugh.

One of my favorite memories of him was visiting new places, like Key West, and finding the local restaurant that was featured on Diners Drive-Ins and Dives.  We'd all eat delicious things like shrimp burgers, clams, and tacos and reminisce about the tasty places we'd found to eat over the years thanks to the show.

He lived for our big family vacations where all 17 of his kids and grandkids were together.  He would get up early and set up beach chairs and tents for the entire family and play endlessly with the kids in the pool.

This one is from our last trip, last summer to Nags Head.  His health was fading then, but he still loved every minute of our time together.

He also loved to fish and adored a fishing trip with his boys.  I even got to tag along for his last fishing trip to Alaska a few years ago.  It was such a magical experience and I never would have gone without him.

Pap led by not words, but by example, showing me how to put family first and how to do anything for them.  He cherished this crew, and I'm so grateful I got to share him and be a part of it all.

Every time the family got together like this on trips, he pulled me to the side and said something like "THIS is what it's all about."  He made a point to say that to me every time we were together, and he was so right.   With that perspective, those family trips were even more special.

It was hard to watch him get sick and we are grateful he's no longer in pain and is now able to fish and play ball, without limitations.

We will all miss him dearly, but I look forward to the day we are all reunited in heaven.  We know we have a guardian angel looking out for us now.

Pap, we will keep your family legacy alive and cherish the family you built.